About NiceGuysReborn.com
NiceGuysReborn.com is here to provide a unique, deep, solidly tested and reliable way forward for all the intelligent, well-meaning, generally capable men out there who love women, who wish to get into a meaningful intimate relationship wth a woman they like and build something powerful together - in spite of the present reality wherein mate-hunting and pair-bonding have never been crazier and more difficult.
While the social landscape is problematic enough, it is the internal barriers to relationship success that so many good men have been saddled with through no fault of their own, which are often the most maddening and painful and which express themselves as attacks of social anxiety and awkwardness, fear of rejection, feelings of unworthiness and the conviction that you just don't have what it takes.
While there is plenty of cutting edge teaching and training in the NiceGuysReborn.com ecosystem on interpersonal skill, techniques, and tips that are specific to dating and relationships, it is the unique approach taken to address the fundamental issues in your internal world of beliefs, thoughts and feelings, that actually moves the needle the most in terms of a radically positive and permanent transformation from habital failure in the relationships space, to habitual confidence and success.
Clarity on all of that as well as an intrduction to a powerful methodology for devoping the self-assurance, know-how, and freedom from your emotional struggles in the dating and relationships arena, is provided by way of free, 5-day, one-on-one "Tiny Challenges" which you can book through this website.
NiceGuysReborn.com is a project of the RiverOfLife Foundation which is a private, non-commercial, non-registered, non-governmental, not-for-profit, humanitarian organisation which relies on universal truth and principles that are grounded in observable facts, strict logic, mathematical probablity, the uncorrupted scientific record and factual history - concerning which, those who act as the foundation's principal participants have concluded, points to a spiritual reality which calls all men and women to care for each other and the natural environment, to renounce all forms of evil including that which is in ourselves, and to banish it from the planet we live on.
RiverOfLife Foundation's first priority at this time, is to provide educational resources, direction, and where possible, practical asisstance for helping people transform out of helplessness, anxiety, oppression and poverty, to wellbeing and fulfillment in all the areas of their lives that matter.
RiverOfLIfe Foundation has no resources of its own other that which exists in the lives of those who support it.
Nevertheless, RiverOfLife Foundation is resourceful and currently has humanitarian projects off the ground in Australia, Papua New Guinea and Vanuatu, while at the same time, it is developing and working with commercial partners to market products and services which align with the foundation's mission and support its work.
About ME
Hi. My name is Richard.
I am a founding Principal Participant of the RiverOfLIfe Foundation and the relationship specialist who provides the coaching here.
I come to faith later in life than most, but like many, I get to the point of no return before I break enough to see through the fog and realise that God exists, that I do not have what it takes to master my own life without Him, and that it is foolishness to reject the gospel message.
You may find that I make some bold claims at times concerning good men who love women, but who struggle in the relationships space because although they are great at relating to children, animals and unattractive or unavailable women, they do not know how to spark attraction in the ones they like.
You might hear me say for example, that I teach a process of transformation for good men that leads to the replacement of shyness, social anxiety and awkwardness in the dating and relationships space, with genuine masculine confidence and relationship know-how - and that it always works, no ifs, buts, or maybes as long as you do the work.
I don't expect anyone to believe what I say as a matter of blind faith, so let me tell you a little bit about my story to provide you with something to hang your hat on.
On a dark evening back when I am 22 years old, I am sitting in my car outside the house of girl I like. We know each other and I am fit, well-groomed, slightly older and have some worldly runs on the board, which, on the surface of it at least, could reasonably be interpreted as counting towards desirability as a potential mate.
I am there to go over, knock on her door and ask her out. But, I'm nauseous with anxiety, my hands are shaking and I'm on the verge of passing out from the overload of nervous energy in my body. I sit there on the point of quitting and going home for around 15 minutes before I force myself out of the car, go over, and knock on her door.
She answers, and hears my invitation, but does not hesitate to say "No" without a second thought and make it clear that I need not speak to her again.
I go home and don't function in any meaningful way for the next 3 months. I descend into a pit of the blackest depression imaginable - because this experience is just the latest example of the way it has always been for me for as far back as I can remember.
The girl's unequivocal rejection, is the just latest confirmation of everything the constant chatter of the voices in my head keep telling me - which is that I am a totally unlovable, irredeemably defective, pathetic, worthless excuse for a man who is such a loser that he gives women the "ick" from a distance.
The pain of living with that kind of self-concept and the despair that overwhelms me at not being able to see an end to it no matter what I do, causes me to fantasise about death and lying in the ground where it is peaceful, quiet, and free from anguish.
I am like this because as a small child, I become totally convinced by word, by deed and by violence - that I am broken and unworthy by nature, that I have no significance or value, and that if I were to suddenly disappear, the world would quietly breathe a sigh of relief and go up a notch in terms of wellbeing.
An ongoing string of traumatic experiences back then, adds up on me until I crack. Just before my sixth birthday I have a terrible mental and emotional breakdown wherein my already poor self-esteem is catastrophically shattered to the point where I am so ashamed of who I am, that I instinctively develop a false persona to hide behind.
I am convinced that exposure of my true self is worse than death and so I make my false self permanent and vow to never, ever let anyone see who I really am. This cuts me off from the human race and the ability to have authentic relationships of any kind, for how can you have an open, honest relationship with someone who lives a lie?
However, maintaining a false self is mentally and emotionally expensive and when I am in my thirties, my well of the necessary energy runs dry and I have a second, massive breakdown. I become unable to eat or sleep, my nervous system short-circuits to the point where I am breaking down emotionally every day at random, and I lose my short-term memory such that I cannot remember what I say or do from one moment to the next.
I lose my job, just about everything I have, and end up desperately ill, broke, homeless and living in my vehicle. When I look into the future I can only see more of the same and so I become acutely suicidal.
I can feel my life-force flickering out and so like the African elephants who, when they approach the end, go to their sacred buriel ground to die, I drag myself out into a wilderness area where I intend to find a place to hide and let nature takes it course.
But something happens out there which changes everything.
As I am lying down under the trees and scrolling through the events of my troubled life, a long forgotten memory intrudes like a short video clip.
I'm in grade 1 at school and am walking home while holding hands and chatting with a little girl I am friendly with. I don't know anything about the birds and the bees back then, but perhaps the little girl does because she pulls me up, locks her pretty eyes into mine and says, "Richard, do you think you and I will be getting married one day?"
I am seriously unnerved by this unexpected recollection and sit with it for what feels like hours, as I re-live it over and over.
What grips me, is the awareness that this very open, authentic little girl has no hidden agendas. She is simply responding to her natural female instincts to want to bond with a guy she likes and trusts.
I conclude that she sees something in me that I desperately need to see in myself but cannot. I realise that she sees my true self back then and likes what she sees enough to ask about getting married.
This realisation causes me to start challenging those incessant voices in my head which never give up telling me how pathetic and worthless I am. It injects a sliver of hope that I am fascinated by and afraid of at the same time.
I to and fro over this for a long time, but in the end, I choose to believe the little girl and accept that I was once OK and therefore can't be a worthless loser by nature.
I don't know if I will survive my health crisis, but I walk out of that wilderness just a little bit taller because I now have a mission. I am going to get my right mind back and fix my insecurity problems with women I like, or perish in the process of trying.
What follows is raw, messy, and at one point nearly fatal, but I bite the bullet and build a new way forward for myself based on obsessive mind-science studies and constant informed and evaluated practice in the real world.
I break the inner vow I make as a child to never expose my true self to anyone.
I process and discharge the enormous backlog of toxic emotion that I collect over the course of a troubled life.
I excavate every false belief I carry about myself and about women.
I analyse them ruthlessly and rewrite them according to reality.
I use the re-written beliefs to build and practice transformative mental routines.
I study and implement adaptive practices in the realm of male/female dymanics.
I mentally rehearse multiple variations of boy-meets-girl scenarios every day and purposefully seek out the most intimidating women I can find, to interact with in the real world.
My demons eventually give up on me and today, I am married to a quality woman and am in the kind of stable, loving relationship I once believed was impossible for me.
My depression and despair is gone.
My death wish is gone.
My false persona is gone.
My addictions to binge-drinking, pornography, and danger have gone.
My disowned masculinity has been recovered, and through it all, I have taken on a very fine-grained and detailed appreciation of what it takes to re-build a new identity from a position that is well below zero and in all likelihood, much worse than most of you.
I know exactly what is required when standard training in social skills and ordinary approaches to coaching in the dating and relationships space, fail to shift what has been messed with under the surface of your consciousness.
That is why I am here and that is why you may wish to learn from me.
About My approach
My Approach...
You may be able to tell that I do it the hard way in terms of transforming my seriously dysfunctional mental and emotional state, my catastrophically low self-esteem, and my total lack of a reality-based, working knowledge of male/female dynamics, into peace, confidence and relationship success.
The reason I am able to do this at all, is because in spite of everything about me that trips me up and causes my life to be filled with chaos and pain, I still retain a natural intellectual gift, that while damaged by early life trauma, still works sufficiently well for me to engage in an educational process concerning the workings of the mind and emotions.
However, because I have no authentic relationships and have instinctively and addictively forbidden myself to never, ever reveal my true self to anyone, I am essentially on my own in trying to get my right mind back and make it to a place of normality.
I start out by making all the mis-interpretations and mis-understandings in terms of my studies and the practical application of what I learn that are possible - and I pay for this dearly in terms of the painful mistakes I then make in the real world as a result.
Nevertheless, in the end I develop a very precise and detailed appreciation of what it takes to not only master the interpersonal skills that are necessary for relationship success, but critically, what it takes to discharge the enormous backlog of toxic emotion I have accumulated over a troubled life and develop sufficient agency over my internal thinking and feeling processes which are the generators of all those subtle, non-verbal signals that females are so good at reading.
I go deep if necessary:
We are all different, but we are all on the same kind of continuum - because no-one can be who they wish to be or have the life they wish to have, unless they develop a good level of mastery over who they are on the inside.
Probably the most powerful lessons I learn as a man on my own transformational journey, is that psychologically, we are made up of a crowd of personalities with different wounds and proclivities that desperately need integration and peace, and that we contain multiple levels of memory and experience such that it is not possible to develop a new and better identity that works in the real world, if we are not open to a), the existence of those sub-personalities and deeper layers and b), are unwilling to do what it takes to understand our internal world, engage with it and cooperate with it to bring about the life changes we most desire.
My process is not for everyone...
Make no mistake, my process is not for the lazy, unmotivated or those who are unwilling to face their fears and anxieties because it takes focus and work and the willingness to be uncomfortable in the real world, until the inner work beds in.
The upside is that this process is reality-based and reliable - it always works as long as you do what is required, no ifs, buts, or maybes.
Your interest in trialling a core technique for personal transformation and confidence-building in the relationships space, is a potentially life-changing activity in itself and I encourage you to take the opportunity seriously.
Get Your Free, "Core-Pattern-Interupt Technique" Now, Then Decide If You Want to Go Further
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